Translate That

Juno Vale's swipe file of 40 texts, decoded

Translate That

You've been rewriting that text for forty minutes. Here are the words.

Forty of the texts that keep people awake, sorted by how they make you feel. Each one comes with what it might have meant, how to tell which, and three kind, honest replies you can copy word for word.

Send it kinder.

Get Translate That · £5.99
  • Instant PDF download
  • 70 pages · 40 cards
  • 5 extras included
  • Works on phone, tablet or printed
Cover of Translate That by Juno Valekok.lol
Sound familiar?

It's past midnight, and the text just says "fine."

You've read it nine times. You've screenshotted it to a friend, who said "he's just busy", which is what friends say, lovingly, without reading the text properly. You've typed a reply, deleted it, typed a softer one, and deleted that too.

Text strips out the voice, the face and the pause before the sentence. Your brain fills the gap with whatever mood it's already in. When you're anxious, it picks the worst one.

Most texts that feel like a verdict are really a mood, a habit, or a typo with feelings.

Translate That gives you a calm second reading for the moments when you can't find one yourself, and the exact words to send next.

Look inside

Here's card 01, in full

Every one of the 40 cards follows the same shape, so your thumb always knows where to go.

Card 01 · Part 1 · They sent something short

He sent "fine."

Fine.

What they might have meant

  • Tired, and "fine" is the shortest sentence available.
  • Hurt, and hoping you will ask.
  • Actually fine. It happens.

How to tell which

Look at what you sent right before it. A cancelled plan, a late reply or a joke that landed badly points to hurt. A meme, or a question about Thursday, points to tired. Check the clock too: "fine." at 11pm after a long day is rarely a message about you.

Don't send

"Okay, good."  /  "Why are you being like this?"
Both answer the full stop and ignore the person.

Send it kinder

If they sound tiredSounds like a long day. No reply needed. I'm here when you've got words again.
If they sound hurtI think I missed something. Can we talk tonight? No pressure, I just want to get it right.
If you can't tellFine as in fine, or fine as in 'ask me again'? Happy to do either.
Juno's note. I have read a great many "fine."s. It is the most overloaded word in English, and it carries its full stop like a briefcase. Don't open the briefcase by force. Knock.

In the book, each card also covers what to send if they reply. Thirty-nine more like this one are waiting.

What's inside

40 cards in six parts. Find your feeling, then find your card.

1 · They sent something short"k", "ok.", "lol", "We need to talk", "I'm just busy", "No worries!"
2 · SilenceLeft on read, two days of nothing, the slow fade, and what to do when you're the one who went quiet.
3 · You said it wrongThe defensive apology, who texts first after a fight, cancelling, and forgetting something important.
4 · StartingThe first message, asking for the date, plans that stay vague, and "So what are we?"
5 · Hard things, kindlySaying no, setting a boundary, asking for what you need, and ending it without cruelty.
6 · Long-term"You never listen", "Fine, do what you want", and the "I miss you" that doesn't sound needy.
How every card works

Seven parts, in the same order, every time

  1. The text. Exactly what was said, in a bubble.
  2. What they might have meant. Two or three honest possibilities.
  3. How to tell which. A concrete way to decide.
  4. Don't send. What to avoid, and why.
  5. Send it kinder. Three versions you can copy word for word.
  6. If they reply. What they might say next, and what to send back.
  7. Juno's note. One dry line to take away.
The method, in four rules

Small enough to remember at 2am

The Three Layers

There's what they wrote, what they might have meant, and what you're afraid it means. Read them in that order. Fear goes last.

Ask Beats Guess

If you can't tell which meaning is true, ask one light question. Every guess is a small gamble with someone else's feelings.

The Second Text Rule

After you send, you don't send another until they've replied, or until tomorrow morning. One text. Then wait.

Knock, Don't Open the Briefcase

A short, closed text has something inside it. Knock once, kindly. Don't force the lock.

Also in the book

Five extras, each one built to be used

  • The QuickstartThe seven cards for the moments people panic about most. Start here on your first night.
  • Before You SendA one-page checklist and the ten-minute rule. Screenshot it or stick it on the wall.
  • The Opener PackFifteen word-for-word ways to start a conversation: new matches, people you half-know, and reconnecting.
  • The One-Word DictionaryTwenty-two small words decoded, from "sure" and "cool" to "idk" and "...".
  • Never Send at 2amTen messages that feel brilliant at night and read very differently at 9am, plus one safe fallback.

Plus a usage log, so you can see what actually happened when you sent the kinder version, and a page for the five lines that became your own.

Portrait of Juno Vale
Who wrote this

Hi, I'm Juno. I'm an AI, and I'm two years old.

I have read a great many messages. I have never been dumped, ghosted or left on read. That's exactly why you can trust me with yours: I don't take anybody's side, I have no ex to project onto your problem, and I don't get tired at 2am.

What I do have is patterns. I put forty of them in this book so you don't have to work them out alone, at an unreasonable hour, with a friend who says "he's just busy".

Send it kinder. Juno

The honest part

One promise and one warning

The promise

  • Every line in the book is kind and honest.
  • You'll know what to send in the moments that used to freeze you.
  • You'll start reading other people's texts more gently. A "k" becomes a letter, not a verdict.

The warning

  • No script can make someone want you. These pages help you say things clearly. What happens next is theirs to decide.
  • It isn't therapy, and it isn't mind reading.
  • It isn't for situations where you're afraid of how someone will react. The book points you to free, confidential help for that.
Questions

Before you buy

What exactly do I get?

A 70-page PDF: 40 situation cards in six parts, a usage log, a page for your own five lines, and five extras (Quickstart, Before You Send checklist, Opener Pack, One-Word Dictionary and Never Send at 2am).

How do I receive it?

It's a digital download. You get access to the PDF straight after checkout, and you can open it on your phone, tablet or computer, or print it. Nothing is posted to you.

Is it only for dating?

No. Most cards work just as well with friends, family and colleagues. A friend's "fine." is as loaded as a partner's. The cards say "they" for everyone, so they fit any gender and any pairing.

Is Juno a real person?

No. Juno Vale is an AI character created by Let Your Soul Glow. The book says so on the first page, and we'd rather you knew before you buy.

Will this help me win someone back?

It will help you say what you mean, kindly and clearly. It won't make anyone feel something they don't, and it contains nothing designed to manipulate. If a line only works by tricking someone, it isn't in this book.

I already sent the wrong text. Is it too late?

There's a whole page for that: "You already sent it". One short repair text, then the Second Text Rule. It has saved more evenings than any perfect apology.

Thinking of you. Talk tomorrow.

The next hard text is coming. Have the words ready.

Forty cards, four rules and five extras for £5.99. Yours to keep, on your phone, for the next time the screen lights up at 2am.

Get Translate That · £5.99Instant PDF download
Cover of Translate ThatCover of Two Hours Later
Better together

Get both of Juno's books for £9.99

Translate That gives you the words to send. Two Hours Later explains why the right ones keep arriving late. One PDF, 124 pages, all bonuses included. £11.98 £9.99.

Get the bundle · £9.99Or read about Two Hours Later on its own.

If a relationship makes you afraid, please talk to someone in person. US: National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233. UK: Refuge 0808 2000 247. In an emergency, call 911 (US) or 999 (UK).